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 In a constantly changing and steady flow of visitors, Jonathan Godoy has become a familiar face on South Beach’s Lincoln Road. Zipping bby in a whirl of unfettered energy as he rollerblades continuously between Washington and Alton Roads...
...stopping along the way to chat with friends and acquaintances, the tall, lanky youth maneuvers the pedestrian mall with skill and precision that comes only by doing something repeatedly. For Jonathan, this tourist Mecca is familiar territory, his stomping ground, if you will.
If only the path of life could be as straight and sure for Jonathan as the road Carl Fisher first cleared in 1912, then perhaps things would seem a little less ambiguous for this self-proclaimed party kid. But, alas, life is rarely a road unwinding, unobstructed by bumps and clear of obstacles that can trip up a fast moving kid on eight wheels. But Jonathan knows that spills are bound to happen and when you find yourself sprawled out on the sidewalk, you get up, dust yourself off, and keep moving.
I sat down with Jonathan at the 11th Street Diner a few months back and we talked about his journey and about how far this young man had traveled in his 21 years. We discussed the road that brought him to south Florida and about the time when he felt his life was at a dead-end. Literally!
David: Let’s start with your childhood. Tell me about your family and what life was like growing up.
 Jonathan: I was born in Guadalajara, Mexico to a Colombian mother and Mexican father. I have an older brother and sister. My parents separated when I was two and my mom, brother, sister, and I moved to Columbia. My mom got remarried and my younger brother was born. Life was pretty normal. I went to an all boys’ Catholic school. I was a shy child and didn’t really socialize. My step dad was extremely mean and very restrictive. I remember once when I went to the movies with my sister. When I came home my step dad slapped me across the face. “What did I do wrong?” I asked. He told me that I hadn’t asked for permission to leave the house, even though I was with my older sister. We just didn’t get along. Other than that, things were pretty normal. I had eight aunts and an uncle, and like any typical family, we’d spend holidays and birthdays at each others homes. There was a strong sense of family. When I was 12 I moved to Barcelona, Spain.
David: Wow! Barcelona. What was that like?
Jonathan: Well, the good thing is that my step dad didn’t go with us. My sister and her baby, my brothers, my mom and I lived there until I was 16. When I first moved to Spain I was a houseboy. I always wanted to stay at home and just watch television and play video games.
David: A houseboy? (Laughs) I think you meant to say you were a homebody. You didn’t really like to go out but you just enjoyed staying at home, right? There’s definitely a huge difference between a houseboy and a homebody.
 Jonathan: (Laughs) Okay, that’s what I meant. A homebody, yeah…but eventually I made friends. I did well in school. At the end of every school year my mom would promise me a trip if I did well in school, so I worked really hard. Every summer was spent traveling across Europe. But suddenly I had to leave Spain. I was given a choice to either go back to Colombia or go to Los Angeles and live with my father, who I had only seen in photographs. My dad had remarried and had two young kids. I decided to go live with my dad.
David: That must have been a tough decision. What made you go live with someone who you didn’t even remember?
Jonathan: It was hard, but it also seemed like a good chance to get to know this stranger who was my biological father. I was sixteen and I’d only experienced the love of a mother and brothers and sisters. I wanted to experience what it was like to have a dad.
David: By the age of sixteen you had already lived on three continents and now you’re moving to California, a place that can be as different as anywhere else in the world. Was that a huge change for you?
 Jonathan: Well, I really was glad for the opportunity to get to know my real dad. We became close pretty fast. For the first time in my life I went to public school. I definitely felt like a step child because my half brothers were treated better. They went to a private school, and wore better clothes. I did well in school, though. I had a 4.0 average. But my step-mom and I really didn’t click.
David: Then what happened? I know you left your father’s home when you were 18? Did something happen?
Jonathan: Yeah, I came home from school one day and I noticed someone had been through my stuff. I found that a love letter I had written to my best friend, a guy, was missing from my personal belongings. I had developed a crush on him and I wrote him a letter telling him about my feelings but I never gave it to him. I just hid it away in my room. My step-mom found it and gave it to my dad.
David: Then what happened?
 Jonathan: The next morning my dad started asking all these questions. “Is there something you need to tell me Jonathan?” he asked. I told him that I knew they’d gone through my stuff and they had found the letter. He already knew the answers to the questions he was asking. I was very angry. The situation caused problems between my dad and my step-mom and I wasn’t going to force my dad to choose between me and her. My step mom thought my ‘gayness’ would rub off on my little brothers and she really didn’t want me around. So, I decided it would be best to leave. That’s how I ended up in south Florida.
David: Did you know someone here? There always seem to be thousands of miles between point A and point B for you. You don’t move across town when you leave, you go cross country!
Jonathan: Yeah, it seems that way, huh? Well, I had a cousin living in Kendall and so I came to stay with him. At first he had no issues with my sexual orientation but, as I began to make friends, he became less comfortable with me being gay, mostly because of the people I was hanging out with. I eventually found my way to South Beach and here I am!
David: Life hasn’t been an easy road for you, has it Jonathan?
Jonathan: No, but it has definitely been an adventure! I’ve struggled to keep my head above water sometimes. I’ve done everything from passing out flyers to bartending to being a lounge chair boy at the beach. But I’m happy to be alive.
David: So, the path on your journey brought you to South Beach but not too long ago you thought that this might be your final destination. Explain to our readers what happened.
 Jonathan: (Heaves a deep sigh) After moving here, I started making it a point to be tested for HIV every three months. At the beginning of December, 2005, I got this gut feeling that something was wrong. I couldn’t really put my finger on it and physically I was fine. I went to the CVS store at Washington and Collins to pick up the results from one of my HIV tests…it was December 18, I remember. As I walked to the pharmacy, I felt this tremendous sense of dread and I started crying. A stranger walked up to me and she saw how upset I was. She said, “Its okay. Everything is going to be fine. Jesus loves you.” I sat and waited with another stranger, a young lady who was there for the same reason. She also tried to encourage me. She went in to get her results and came out of the room smiling. Then the guy that worked there asked me to come in and sit down. He informed me I was positive. At that point I just became numb and my mind and body went into shock. I took the paper and left the drugstore. I stood outside a few minutes, tears rolling down my cheeks. It was a typical December night in South Beach. There was a cool breeze and the weather was perfect. I just started running down Lincoln Road, not stopping until I got to Alton. I prayed and asked God to just finish me off right there. I didn’t even slow down for the stop lights. I was kinda hoping I’d get hit by a car. I really thought my life was over.
David: But your life wasn’t over. Here it is two years later and you’re still with us. How did you cope?
 Jonathan: The support of very good friends has definitely helped me grow emotionally stronger. But I also told my immediate family. My mom, my dad, my sister, and my brothers all know. In some ways it has brought my dad and me closer. We talk regularly on the phone, probably more now than ever before. When I first told him I was positive, I also told him I was sorry for screwing up my life. He said, “Don’t be silly mi hijo! You haven’t screwed up your life.” Both he and my mom assured me that their love is just as strong as ever. My Sister (Pauses…begins to cry)…
David: It’s okay. Take your time.
Jonathan: When I told my sister she cried. She said, “Oh Jonathan, I’m so sorry. I should have been there to protect you. I wish I could take this burden away from you and I’d even take the disease upon myself if I had to.” I really love my sister so much (Becomes emotional again).
David: That’s a powerful story, Jonathan. You are a very courageous young man for being so open about this part of your life. What message do you hope to convey to the readers of GaySOFLA by your sharing your story with them.
 Jonathan: Ummmm…the most obvious message is to be safe, of course. You cannot always depend on a partner to be faithful and we all know how HIV is spread. We need to constantly be on guard. If we don’t protect ourselves then we really cannot expect others to protect us, no matter how much they say they love us or care for us. But my message is really for those who are HIV positive. It’s very important for people who are positive to be upfront and honest, at least with potential sexual partners or possible lovers. Yes, you may face rejection from some people, but that’s better than infecting someone. I have to live with this disease for the rest of my life and I’m only 21 years old. I’m lucky that I have a supportive family and friends. I’ve been rejected by people before when I’ve told them. But at least I can sleep at night, knowing I haven’t knowingly hurt someone or infected someone.
David: Any regrets about the decisions you’ve made in your life?
Jonathan: Honestly, no. Would I change some things, if I could? Of course, but I don’t think living with regret is really living. You deal with the consequences of your decisions and you move on. That’s what I’m trying to do.
David: What hopes do you have for the future?
Jonathan: I don’t think about the future very much. I kind of just live for the present. I try to take care of my health. The future scares me. I’ve seen people go from being HIV positive to having full blown AIDS and it worries me, knowing that one day I may have to go through that. For now I try to just enjoy life one day at a time. I try to make sure my family and friends know that I love them and I try not to worry about tomorrow. I mean, is worrying going to change anything? I just live. Living is much better than the alternative, right???
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