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 I'm having a moment here... my friend’s profile has all these nice pictures of young guys partying and having fun (me included) and I love them but, at the same time, they occasionally throw me into fits of paranoia.
I guess this is because I realize through his pictures that he is missing something. He is always craving the attention and company of others so as not to be by himself. Now some people will reject him from time to time, but up to now he has always managed to have someone(s) interested. How does he accomplish this? Easy, he is still young and good looking... question is: what is going to happen when he is no longer either?
It scares me to think of time and its effects; I think that's why he and I take so many pictures. I find myself trying to hold on to the perfect past, extracting as much as I can from the present, always aware that the moment of joy we share with others will never repeat itself, but very much like water seeing it escape through my fingers; at the same time I want to continue to be attractive to others despite what time will do to my body. I think that is why I have always strived to cultivate my mind so that at least that part of me might remain somewhat attractive, might be able, if perhaps not entice others to view me as a sexual being, at least to find enjoyment in my company, to acknowledge my humanity, to lessen my solitude.
I admire certain old people who are able to surround themselves with the interest of others, I think gay men too often stop at the superficial level and run away at the sight of a wrinkle or the appearance of flab, not giving themselves and others the chance of getting to know someone who is not under 25 and has the body of a Greek sculpture. Perhaps sadder still, are the older guys who think they can recapture their youth by paying for the attentions of a young pretty thing. I know a few who wouldn't be caught dead with someone their own age and do not have the maturity to age gracefully.
I think a lot has to be said and learned about ageing gracefully. Why do our standards of beauty always have to be skewered towards the young? I'm not saying physical beauty does not have its absolutes, I am not pretending to make George Burns into the new standard for male beauty. I am only pointing out to other forms of it. You know, the refinement and elegance that time can bestow on a person, the conversation based on experience and knowledge, the discerning eye that someone can cultivate through time.
If we think of the celebrated beauties of antiquity, the muses that inspired so many great talents, these were not all of the teenager variety; Helen of Troy had an adult son when she was the most sough after woman in the world, Madame De Pompadour managed to entice French society until her death at 42, but then again apparently she had great wit. Wwhat I'm trying to say is have some self love and respect yourself, realize that you are so much more than your outward self, don't exercise only your muscles, flex your innards as well, strive for some gravitas. 8-)
 G.P. Harris is the author of the GaySOFLA exclusive feature Devil's Advocates. Mr. Harris is growing older gracefully in Miami Beach, where he resides. Mr. Harris can be reached at contact@gaysofla.com
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