In this sardonic review of a recent local press awards program he attended, GaySoFla writer G.P. Harris bemoans the apparent extinction of dignity and class that has occurred within the LGBT community. “VIPs to the front and all you proletariats just cool your heels out front for a bit.”

Last week I received an invite from my editor to attend a certain gay Latin awards. The trouble is now I’m having problem writing about it. Should I treat this as a theatrical review or as a sociological experiment? It had elements of both, so maybe I should label it a social melodrama with no conscience or public, but far too many competing diva queens. 

My first impression right after being bamboozled by all the gowns worn by (Gasp!) middle-aged men wearing way too much makeup... was that the gay community keeps borrowing from all the tricks in the bag of Marie Antoinette's Court. Case in point: despite the fact that this was really a small event, there were only two kinds of tickets, VIP's and proletariat.   

Here I need to thank my editor for cheaping out on my ticket and thus having this illiterate dude at the door prohibit my entry 3 times. Apparently proletarians could not go in at the same time that the VIP's!  Mind you this wasn’t like it’s normally done that the VIP's have a small private suite. No! This was the event itself and the only saloon available. So basically, you went in and cleaned after these VIP's  

In the meantime, while waiting in the street in front of Lincoln Theatre, looking in like a third cast destitute Grizabella from CATS I was reminded of how many times I’ve been to that venue to listen to great symphonic works being performed by artists of caliber. Despite the purported snobbishness of that crowd, they have never made anyone wait on the street. This was oh so ‘Raspberry Reich’ gay!  

Then again who are we fooling? Gay men are all about discrimination. Remember the times when you've surfed through the profiles at manhunt? Does please no femmys, drag queens, old, bald, and/or fat dudes, ring a bell?  

The new budding gay political caste was present, all with agendas for the night of course, just like everybody else. Itt’s great that these events are about advancing the LGBT cause and not about our own petty, personal vanities, right? 

Once inside we were treated to a spectacle worthy of, not one, but many, many, many queens and just as many wardrobe changes from each of them. As a matter of fact, Miami's famed favella style chicness was all too evident on that glorious night.  

But I have a question for the more cogent of you: why is it that, in this great and civilized country, we look to entertainers to serve as societal role models? Are we copying this and passing that standard bearing responsibility to the more colorful characters in the dragaliscious cabaret underworld of la Sauwecera?  

The night began with a tribute to all the ‘has been’ Mexican bubble gum stars of that country's PRI era, and let me just say that it is always far more challenging to imitate true talent than a pop product of Latin favellas. This gave way to presentations, awards, speeches, tears, howls, and a caterwauling of assorted femmy sounds. By the way, the speeches in the best style of Sally Fields on Oscar night were delivered in the Hialeah vernacular, a dialect that, contrary to popular opinion, did not originate in Queen Isabel's Castille.  

Disappointment had set in by the 4th hour of this ongoing tragedy when I realized there was not going to be a reprise of Kristel and Alexis' pool bag bashing on Dynasty. But I did stay till the end, hanging on to the promise of seeing some minor Miami TV personality and a local politician grab an award just because. 

A phrase in the speech of a glamorous and awarded dragtastic queen was solid gold true. She mentioned that gay people in history have contributed to the world through our art, inspiring others and creating beauty. Never mind that this was hardly present that night! 

Whatever happened to the old perception of gays as being cultured, educated, well dressed purveyors and supporters of the arts and all that is tasteful and excellent? The Miami LGBT community has certainly lost that, if it ever had it. If we want to be taken seriously we need to start acting with a little less clownish freak appeal and with a lot more class. Maybe then the awarded dignitaries might actually stop by and pick their awards instead of sending faked video apologies. 

G. P. Harris writes tongue in cheek (no pun intended!) via the Devil’s Advocate feature of GaySOFLA.   The purpose of his column is to generate dialogue regarding issues that concern the GLBT community.  Harris can reached via email at bananafish199@yahoo.com.