I’m outraged, yes outraged at this heinous crime that has shocked our country.  I assume that by now everyone and their pussy has seen Chad Michael Morrisette’s Halloween display of a Sara Palin life size doll dressed in a red suit and hanging by a noose from his house’s roof in WEHO. 

The media is certainly outraged. This horrid act has prompted the ever measured Bill O’Reilly to secrete condemnatory expletives against Mr. Morrisette’s choice of décor. Likewise, Keith Obermann of MSNBC fame choose Morrisette as the “world’s worst person” for outfitting a mannequin and various people have been calling the LA County’s sheriff department, demanding them to charge Mr. Morrisette for what they consider a “hate crime”. This only gets scarier as mannequins around the world take to the streets to protest and condemn the hanging of Sara Palin’s doppelganger.

However, it has come to the attention of GaySoFla.com that the crime was not perpetrated by Morrisette. Eyewitnesses report having seen an off season rooftop effigy of Rudolph the red nose reindeer, along with Prancer and Blixen as accomplices, enter Sara Palin mannequin’s fabulous double wide Lexus trailer when she was placidly reading verses from the mannequin’s bible, all while keeping an eye on flying Russian prime ministers. They also report that the reindeer gang next took her for a ride in Santa’s sleigh and finally, once they had their way with her, decided to hang her high from Morrisette’s house.

Apparently this hate crime stems from personal vendetta, as Palin’s mannequin was recently seen in a Cabelas’ hunting gear display shooting Vixen and Dancer and hanging on to Dasher’s severed head.

John McCain’s mummified mannequin said to the press in a statement that “there is nothing wrong with practicing aim at Santa’s reindeers; especially since they are suspected to be Russian communist agitators. As rightful, hate filled, gun toting Christians, it is our patriotic duty to shot any deer, especially those with a red nose”  

McCain continued, “Santa is also a communist since he gives away gifts that haven’t been taxed by the government. When I’m president you can be sure there is going to be an F-18 hornet nipping at his sleigh and ready to shoot if he comes near our country’s airspace”

Asked who was going to replace Palin as his running mate, the McCain mummy replied that it had been looking at a pair of inflatable dolls from the Love Connection and added that they were fully qualified to take on the white house and any position that might be demanded from them. “They have just as much air inside their heads as our dearly departed Sara Palin mannequin had,” McCain insisted.   RIP Palin.   
  
G .P. Harris writes tongue in cheek (no pun intended!) via the Devil’s Advocate feature of GaySOFLA.   The purpose of his column is to generate dialogue regarding issues that concern the GLBT community.  Harris can reached via email at bananafish199@yahoo.com.